The Man-Brain Syndrome!

Now that you've read the title before moving in here to read the content, I'm sure your brain has already started processing and thinking, What The Hell is This Man Brain??
Well, It's this crazy syndrome we men suffer from every time we are around attractive person from the opposite gender, or just any woman!

This idea came up to me when I was watching a stand up act of SnG Comedy's Karan Talwar on a lazy Sunday afternoon... it is at this point that got me thinking, yes indeed we men are sometimes the stupidest creation on earth! Guys, don't look so gobsmacked, I am going to prove it to you.. and girls, yes I can see those evil grin on your faces! :D

This thought brought out many incidents I've come across, where I've seen we men-folk being outright stupid and getting outsmarted by the women.

The very first and foremost stupid thing we men do every time we are around an attractive lady is we start fixing ourselves.. During my days in the BPO sector, a group of guys from my dept used to hang out at the cafeteria during breaks. Now the only time one could find a man in his most natural behaviour is around his 'Bros'... but every time our HR executive walked by to get her regular cappuccino order, these guys would sit straight, iron out their creases on shirts with their hands, fix their ruffled hair with their greasy palms and the conversation changes from Katrina Kaif in Dhoom-3 to Sale targets of the month, etc... Why?

In a party try introducing your female friend to your 'Bro', I bet you can see the sea change in him- From the wild animal 'Bunty' you knew over the years to the "IIM aspirant Suresh Makhija from New CG Road area"- The only time your 'Bro' was ever near IIM was when you took him out for aloo paranthas sold outside the road leading to the institute last month! In fact even notice the fake manly voice he talks with trying to be all gentlemanly, while you know very well that on random days his sentences always ends with one of the choicest Hindi expletive! again, Why?

Is it attention that we men seek? Or is it just a chance that we never stop trying out or options everywhere? A dear friend of mine who is a cabin crew member with a leading domestic airliner once told me that we men are so disgusting that even on a short 25-30 minute flight from Ahmedabad to Mumbai, uncles as old as 50-60 have tried acting fresh with her with stupidest queries on-board..
Again Guys! Just Why?

I am pretty sure in each of these cases, the women involved has rolled her eyes and called us men 'idiots' or 'saala leechad(bloody cheapskate)' under her breath while smiling at us (Which again, is the reason why we go numb at our knees :D)

So I recently completed college a few months back and got into a job, and over those years I have seen two types of people:

1. The Over-Stressing and Over-Planning ones
2. The Unplanned hippies

But when calamity strikes both these types of people, the men, they usually have a look around the messed up, awaiting disaster with a blank head and react "Meh!" and goes for a short nap! While the women(mostly they never face such a situation, but when they do..) usually don't mind asking for help, most probably from the men-folk...and we dumbfucks help them out without giving a grain of thought that what if we men had the same zeal in doing our own work in the same situation! JUST BECAUSE ITS THE OPPOSITE GENDER WHO ASKED US FOR HELP!!!

I am sure many of you might've now realized how the girls always had their assignments complete on time while guys shamelessly stood in front of the professor with a totally bullshit reason not doing it.(PS No offence girls! its true experience speaking!)

Now here's the deal! Due to the explosion of internet technology and information overload happening around these days, we're addicted to many entertainment options originating from the West which are actually good!

Watching a James Bond movie where the suave spy make women go weak on their knees with his charm, a certain kind of 'chemical locha(reaction)' happens in our brains thinking "If Pierce Brosnan can do it, I too can! (albeit wearing a tacky suit bought for a thousand rupees from Palica Bazaar at Lal Darwaza). Or if Leonard Hofstader, the nerd can nail hot Penny in The Big Bang Theory, then I too can wearing superhero tees.. 

Spoiler Alert!! please listen, NOOOOO! a big fat NOOO!

Guys in the west have got swag! While all we have got are relatives, that too nosy ones!

Guys in the west have got the game! while all we do is stare at the girl until she gets uncomfortable and walk off leaving us wondering "Yaar maine to kuch bola bhi nahi fir bhi bhaaag gyi!"(I didn't say a thing and yet, she scooted off!)

Like Jerry Sienfeld once said:"We Men Are So Obvious, Men Know what we men want, Women know What we men want... We Want WOMEN!"

So, just be they guy you are.. don't try hard around the women-folk, they are really smart enough to screen the true man amongst the pigs... And next time your 'Bro' starts grunting and counting the number of pull-ups he's doing in the gym when a beautiful girl passes by, kick his fat-ass and tell him, his attempts are 99.99% futile :D

So, If you're good looking, good-luck... If you're ugly, get intelligent(And use Fair and Lovely Men's cream ;) )

And if you're both, then please tell me konse baba ka churan khaate ho(what pills do you take?)! ;)